What's your excuse?

Why would we do it with our best friend?

I can think of a milion reasons not to

Anyhow we did it

Despite each and every reason not to

What's the difference between a best friend and a boyfriend?

My answer for that, a few months ago, would have been, they feel us differently

A best friend won't tease us with his bare look

A best friend won't leave bite marks all over us in the dark, quiet (or not so quiet) night

A best friend won't mess with our hair

A best friend won't ask us not to leave the bed the two of us are sleeping in

A best friend won't play with his fingers all over our naked skin

A best friend won't rest his head so close to ours that his breathing hits our chest, irregularly

A best friend won't tell us not to look at him as if he was the hottest guy that ever walked the earth

A best friend won't admit he doesn't know why he is kissing us despite the fact he is kissing us

A best friend won't be the person we want to cuddle with until the world's end

KISS MY NECK                                                                               

                                                                                  BITE MY LIPS

A best friend won't feel to us as if it was a boyfriend who we get to call an idiot every once in a while

So if you ask me when you get a girlfriend who, as it's your way of getting them, won't value you as much as I do, who won't care for you half of what I do, I will get mad

I will get so mad over the fact that I could be everything she will get to be, yet your heart choose her over me
I won't be mad at you

And I won't be mad at the guy I will be lying to until the lies get to the fundation of whatever relationship that might be and corrupt it so badly everything will fall apart

I will be mad at some random algorithm the universe picked for us, where we don't end up together

I know you don't see it happening

And I know you know I do

And you can ask me how I know all this, although I bet, if you ever get to read this, you will know the answer before getting to the end of this sentence

I've had doubts on and off for the past nine years

So did you, probably 

And we went through it over and over again, always getting to the conclusion that the simple idea of kissing each other was weird and repulsive

Well, now we kissed 

It wasn't repulsive 

My excuse?

I'm lonely

And horny

And I trust you that much to share whatever this is with you over everyone else I know

What's YOUR excuse?